well it has been a while. i almost forgot about this ;p. [25 Dec 2005|04:44pm] So, my past week. Where to start. Well, saying it has been great and content would suite it just fine. I lost track of what day it was and had no responsibilities and loved everyone I saw.  But now it's time to get back to reality. I gotta watch out for myself; gotta start up again with lists all over the place, with being proactive and optimistic. I hope everyone had a lovely christmas. ( Long. Recommended reading - to know about me a bit better. But. Alas, read if you please. ) !!!

[02 Oct 2005|11:40pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | rilo kiley ] For some reason I have this extremely strong fear that I will grow up and fall into a horrible relationship. I feel as if my personality is one that clings to whatever is terrible in a person adn I feed off of it. I'm not sure if this makes much sense, but it does to me. I'm so very afraid that I will end up in an abusive relationship, and I won't have the heart to leave. This frightens me more than you will ever, ever know. 5!!!

[27 Sep 2005|07:31pm] [ music | tegan and sara ] I really don't know what to say. Nothing exciting ever happens. This is not how life is supposed to be. Atleast not how I want it to be. But i guess you can't get what you want and nothing is what it seems. 3!!!

[22 Aug 2005|12:10pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | eisley ] I guess no one really wants to be my friend on here, but even if they did, i'm not sure how I would be able to tell. God, this is pathetic. I get this thing so that I can express myself for people to read, yet I find myself friendless.. I thought this would be different than real life. But i guess i thought wrong. Oh well, now that i'm done with my emo moment for the day, I think i'll write... It's funny how my mom says, "why do you let your friends shit all over you?!" because what she REALLY wants to say is, "i'm so used to it from you! i don't even know the difference". Well, the good old days, may not return. but right outside of my window is the most gorgeous day you've ever seen. It may be a little warm, but I can get past that. "Let's do everything we possibly can all on the same night!" Everyone seemed weird & not happy & kind of bummed out last night & so right then I lost my attraction. People need to be happier longer, for the sake of them & everyone else. All of this really needs to be touched up. Bank, gas station, rite aid, who knows. I'll dance around the room to the feeling that the voices of clowns & jokers bring to my senses. I'm not really sure what i'm saying right now.. but I think I like it taht way. !!!

[21 Aug 2005|04:19pm] so i'm very new to livejournal, and i need friends. so, add me? okay well i got this thing in the first place so that i could express my feelings. what i'm feeling right at this moment. i'm really thrilled to have something that i can write in and that people can give me advice through. and even if i get no advice, at least i know that someone.. maybeo nly one person.. is reading. it would be nice to know that i could stir some kind of emotion within someone. i wish this boy could just pick up a guitar & pull out his pen & write the most beautiful song about me. & what i do to me. i want to make his heart beat faster than ever before & i wish he could look into my eyes & feel safe. but that never happens anymore. all that ever happens is physical. & hardly anything beyond the surface. no one will reach me. not for a while at least. !!!

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